Gaming, Austria

Here I am. It's a new year, new semester, new place....except, old. place... Back to the old grind I suppose you could say. At first it was weird being back, but good. My mind was constantly flooded with memories from Austria and realizations of how much the Lord blessed me this Fall. Now that we're almost half way into the semester (isn't that nuts?) I'm feeling very at home at the Abbey and seeing how Austria really did kick off the rest of my life because this semester is easily becoming the best semester of my life. Austria really does change your life and I'm going to attempt to testify to how it changed me.

First of all going to Austria was a whirlwind of quick, spontaneous planning and to be quite honest I didn't think I'd be able to go. It worked out and August 18th I was flying to Ireland with some of my now wonderful friends.

view of Gaming from the front of the Kartause

You've heard the stories about trips and what not but you're probably are wondering, how was Austria - I mean that's where you were, wasn't it?
Austria was wonderful. Its beautiful there! and the Kartause was such a fun place to live and study. The food in the Mensa was probably the worst food I've ever eaten but I'll let that one slide. The mountains surrounding the Kartause are beautiful and even going on runs early into the semester was such a joy because i was surrounded by so much beauty. We hiked a couple times - one of the most common hikes is to book mountain where the austria program has a book you can sign. It's a tough hike, at least it was for me, but the view from the top is amazing and seeing millions of signatures from past students was so cool. One hike we took was to the caves - that was were I learned I have a slight case of claustrophobia because I ended up practically crying inside the dark, cold, muddy cave and running down the mountain to just feel freedom. Feel free to laugh, it's really funny now even though I was severely shaken up by that experience at the time.

the girlies before the cave 

Arriving at the Kartause I felt a little out of place because everyone had already gone to school together, although a lot of them didn't actually know each other that well or at all. After getting settled, meeting new people - which was honestly one of the easiest and quickest things to do, I began to really live the Austria experience.

People often asked me, "Did you know a lot of these people before?" or they'd make comments like, "Wait, you really don't go here?" or the most common, "I honestly thought you went here - you seem like you know everyone already." Now, I know I am an outgoing person; my temperament is sanguine-phlegmatic, but there is something about the Franciscan community and the Austria experience that makes becoming friends with people so easy. The wonderful people I spent my time with were easy to talk to, an incredible joy to be around, and they also were vulnerable with me and shared a lot about themselves which made being good friends with them quick and easy. I suppose I've only experienced the Austrian side of things but the Franciscan community there nonetheless is incredible. People really love each other and look out for one another on this journey we're on to Heaven. A lot of people I found had some pretty messy or broken pasts or even present struggles and were just seeking how to follow the truth they've found at Franciscan - that was a wonderful, some times frustrating, but beautiful thing to experience. I really enjoyed being a FUS student for a semester.

view of the Kartause from Book Mountain

The classes we took were incredible. Of course I whined and cried and complained all I could about them from day one simply because I wanted Austria to be about my experience, and me being cultured and seeing the world and I didn't want to think about school work. But looking back now they really did a good job not giving us too much work to do and in all honesty I think I learned more in those classes that semester than I have any other semester. The classes really added to the experience. The classes I took were Christian Marriage, Sacraments, Theology of Christ, Christian Moral Principles, and Philosophical and Biblical Themes in Literature (which was honestly more of a philosophy course than literature but it ended up being the most life changing class for me.) I can honestly say that these professors were phenomenal and not only were they brilliant and excellent at conveying knowledge to us, they were seriously amazing, holy men and women. Living in the Kartause in Gaming we were able to witness the professors daily lives with their families and see how truly and beautifully holy people they are. Just seeing how they love their families the Lord changed my heart and actually healed it. For example seeing Professor Cassidy and Dr. Newton love their children made me realize how much a father loves and even though my dad has a totally different personality and love language I realized more than ever how much my father, thousands of miles away at the time, loves me. Love you, dad! 

view from my window a week or so before Advent

But back to the education of things - I could honestly go on and on and tell you what I thought of each professor and what I got out of each class but I'll just share with you one of the most impacting classes - the lit class. We studied the theme of the transformation of love from Plato's Sympostium to C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves, to the bible - Genesis, John's gospel, Song of Songs, etc., to Kristin Lavransdatter - The Wreath, to modern poetry, to Madame Bovary, and finished the semester reading Kierkegaard. Plato introduced the semester with the questions, "who is love?" and C.S. Lewis gave us some answers, and the bible told us God is Love. the Song of Songs taught us "not to stir up love before its time," and so did Kristin Lavransdatter and Madame Bovary - incredible novels about young women who get swept away by their unattainable loves and romanic fantasies which lead to their ultimate downfall. These novels are honestly incredible. The message they deliver is that if you don't let go of the unattainable love, than your heart will not transform into the love Lewis talks about and the Lord shows us in Scripture. This class taught the ultimate emotional chastity. Its not about guarding your heart and never fantacising. yes, thats a dangerous pit to fall into, it's ultimately what Kristin and Emma Bovary did. However, its about being reasonable, selfless, and utilizing your desires for God's will and sometimes that means letting go of those loves. I can honestly say that my heart changed in that class. It opened my eyes to what unattainable or overly emotional love stories I wrote in my mind looked like and how to let go of them and allow the Lord to transform my heart. That class changed my life and honestly set me free of over dramatized sentiments without crushing my dreams of having a beautiful love story one day. Thank you, Dr. Carreño!

Something else I did in Austria was music ministry. I was in a group that sang at Mass on Thursdays and we were also able to lead music on our pilgrimage to Rome and Assisi. I wanted to make sure I was giving my life to Christ in some way or other because I apprehended the busy-ness of the semester and didn't want to get swept up in the fun of things and forget the one who brought me here. Of course the Lord drew me closer in so many ways I didn't even imagine He would but that was my initial intention for doing the ministry. I really enjoyed it because I had never done something like that and it was a fairly laid back setting. I loved my music team and the leader of my group encouraged me to cantor often, which was good for my courage. In addition to singing with the ministry group I would "jam" every so often with a couple of my friends and someway somehow I grew to be even more confident with my voice and harmonies. So being back here at the Abbey I've started to help lead praise and worship and of course got back into performing in coffee houses that FOCUS puts on. I just love the gift of singing that the Lord has blessed me with and the more I can give it back to Him the happier I am! Praise Jesus. 

Me and my roommate with our new friends at Urs 

Something I miss about Austria is going out at night to the bars; either the Keller, attached to the Kartause, or Urs, a bar with more of a rustic or pub feel to it just down the street. It was nice to be able to go out and just have a drink with a couple of friends. It makes me impatient for my twenty-first birthday since every weekend me and my underaged friends ask what there is to do since we cant even get in anywhere. Its not that we want to drink, its that we want to go out. But those bars also have a lot of memories attached to them so they hold a special place in my heart :) not to mention they have the best beer in the world. 


Oh Austria how I miss you. But I really do love being back at the Abbey. Praise God for all the blessings He's given me! 

Food for thought: "There's one way to avoid criticism. Do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." - Aristotle

"Jesus, Purity of Virgins, have Mercy on us!"

I've been a member of the Confraternity of Angelic Warfare for about a year now and prior to joining it I had heard so many testimonies of immense healing or growth in the virtue of purity. I, however, didn't experience any exceptional help or growth in the virtue but continued to find the confraternity important in my life; one reason being daily praying for my brothers in sisters enrolled in the confraternity. Well the Lord works in humble and simple ways with a calm and quiet voice so of course I was simply being ignorant and unaware of the ways He'd strengthened the virtue in me.
This past summer I kind of had a little bit of a panic attack on my twentieth birthday because I hadn't dated anyone and still remained unkissed. (Yep, it's true, and remains true to this date.) But in prayer one night, a few more months into the summer and past my May birthday, I had an epiphany. What a blessing it is to be so pure and untouched! I've had a lot of my friends expressed to me how jealous they are of me or how special it is that I haven't kissed anyone and I never really understood why but as they explained it to me and as I continued praying my confraternity prayers I came to realize how beautiful that purity is. I don't mean to say if you're twenty and have been kissed or well, more, that you're a terribly impure person; I certainly look forward to the day when I am kissed by whatever man ends up being my special someone. But there is just something special about saving that for him. 
Now having this beautiful realization of this gift of purity the Lord has blessed me with, I desired to truly treasure my purity. What I mean is, once I do start a relationship, I don't just through it all out the window or take for granted the gift that I've been given. 
So recently when I've daily prayed the two chastity prayers and fifteen Hail Marys for the confraternity I've asked the Lord to give me the gift of truly treasuring the virtue of purity. This intention has been on my heart and in my prayers for a month or so now, a little longer than I've been doing Louis Marie de Montfort's preperation for the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. I'm on the final stage of the preparation prayers which includes the Litany of the Holy name of Jesus. As I was praying the Litany for the first time since I'd begun the consecration I was struck by this prayer: "Jesus, Purity of Virgins."
Jesus IS purity. How can I help from treasuring my purity if it is Jesus? 

I just thought I'd share that little testimony to tickle your minds and maybe lead you to consider the virtue of purity in your life. 

Food for thought: Blessed Pope John Paul II's thoughts on 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, "Piety as a gift of the Holy Spirit seems to serve purity in a particular way by making the human subject sensitive to the dignity that belongs to the human body in virtue of the mystery of creation and redemption."